You have never been so excited to see poop and pee
You know the different stages of poop
You get pooped/peed on you find it startling but humorous
You can't take a shower without leaving the shower door open to make sure the babe is ok
Your Whoo haa and your ta tas are in different universes and may come back to your body you hope one day
Sleep is but of a dream of the past
You put a couple extra onesies in the diaper bag "just in Case" to realize we need an outfit an hour you are going to be out...babies are future supermodels and need constant fashion changes
If takes you an hour to get the babe fed, changed, dressed, and you 5 min now, then you may have to rechange the babe due to spit up, diaper leak, etc...basically you are no longer in charge of time anymore
You have to start getting ready to wherever 2 hours in advance due to this...
When someone wants to "wake up and play" with your babe you- 1. Remind the they only eat, sleep, poop right now 2. Make an excuse to hold the baby so they dont wake him up 3. Threaten them with the ol "if you wake the baby up you better have a boob to be feeding him"
You have to figure out a way to stay awake and feed all night without caffeine which is damn near impossible
You now have eagle hearing and a protective lions eye on everything and everyone
Your prego brain has not gone away
Your idea of a good time is a 3 hour uninterrupted nap
The min you try to fall asleep the little angel is wide awake and ready for some visual/audio stimulation. Aka wake your butt up momma
You went from peeing every 5 min to peeing when you have an opportunity
You now know what all the funky baby contraptions are and their uses
Your idea of a challenge is how fast can you change the diaper to avoid getting peed on
You have never been so patient in your whole life
You are perfectly content never leaving the house again because you can't imagine what's out there that could be any better than being his momma
You take pictures of him everyday and while the rest of the world maybe over it, you can't help to want to share your little love
Feel like the luckiest person on the planet to be able to be a mom 😍
Peace and love